


things we're all too young to know

by carmen_sandiego



Series: the book of love [2]
Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Domestic, F/M, Family Fluff, Married Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 12:12:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,192
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18964990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carmen_sandiego/pseuds/carmen_sandiego
Summary: A selection of snapshots from baby Lucy's first year.





	things we're all too young to know

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iwantthemtostay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwantthemtostay/gifts).



> This continues right after 'and instructions for dancing' left off. Nothing to see here but family life! As with its precursor, the title is taken from 'The book of love,' by Peter Gabriel.
> 
> Thank you to peacefulboo for the beta reading, as always.
> 
> Happy birthday to iwantthemtostay, I hope you enjoy this bit of family fluff my dear!

 

*

Tessa wakes up in the middle of the night, almost as a reflex. It’s been a week since Scott started taking over night-time Lucy duty, and while she’s so grateful, there are some nights she still can’t help waking up every few hours.

She opens her eyes in the darkness, letting herself adjust to being awake, listening to the quiet house. From the baby monitor on Scott’s side of the bed she make out the faint sounds of him humming to Lucy, the gentle creak of the rocking chair as he sits with her. She smiles a little, picturing them. And then she decides picturing them in her mind isn’t enough.

After a moment she lifts herself out of bed and pulls on the sweater she’d discarded the night before. She steps quietly down the hall, stopping just inside the doorway. Scott’s there in the rocking chair with Lucy in his arms, wrapped warm in her little blanket. Her bottle is empty, now set aside, and by the looks of it she’s been asleep already for a few minutes. She’s completely conked out in his arms, her little pink cheeks relaxed and calm.

Scott looks over at Tessa, then, noticing her in the doorway. “Hey,” he whispers. “You should be asleep.” He’s right, of course, but he’s also smiling a little and doesn’t seem to mind really.

Tessa steps over to him, pulling up the little ottoman to sit next to Scott and Lucy. It’s just close enough she can lean against his shoulder, and he can press a kiss to the top of her head. She reaches over, gently touching a finger to one of Lucy’s hands. “You could be asleep too, from the looks of it,” she observes, barely stifling a yawn. “How long has she been out?”

“A little while. I could have put her back down a few minutes ago, but I just...I just wanted to keep looking at her,” he admits. She can tell he’s tired, but also there’s just so much adoration in his voice and she can’t fault him for that.

“Yeah, I know,” is all she can say. “She’s pretty great to look at.” Tessa runs her finger over Lucy’s little fingers and impossibly tiny knuckles. It still seems so strange to think that a little over a month ago, it was just her and Scott. Now that Lucy’s here she’s not sure what they ever did before they had her, how odd it is to think that it was just the two of them in this big house. But if she thinks about that too deeply it makes her feel dizzy, somehow. She lets out a breath and just leans against Scott, wrapping her hands around his arm.

“I hope she gets your eyes,” Scott whispers, after another moment.

Tessa laughs gently, quiet and breathless. “You’ve said that before.”

“Well, I meant it before,” he insists. He pats one hand gently against Lucy’s back, as she starts to fuss a bit in sleep and then settles again. Her head drifts to one side and when she lies like this Tessa can see so much of Scott in her.

“She has your face, I think,” Tessa says. “Your cheeks. Your chin.” She resists the urge to stroke Lucy’s little face, as if making sure she’s right.

“Hopefully not my nose,” he adds, but Tessa can tell he’s joking at least a little bit.

“I love your nose,” she tells him, stretching up to kiss him there, and then on his cheek. He captures her lips with his then, quickly and then a second time.

After another moment Scott finally stands, gently lowering Lucy into her crib. Tessa waits nearby, looking on as he carefully tucks the blanket around her and make sure she’s still sound asleep.

When he steps away she puts her arms around his waist. “I love you with her,” she says, her voice low and adoring, still whispering. “I’m so glad you’re her dad.”

In the dim light she would swear his cheeks are turning red. He kisses her cheek again, walking back towards their bedroom with their arms wrapped around each other. “Nobody else’s dad I’d rather be.”

*

By the time Lucy turns two months old both Tessa and Scott start to feel like they’re finding their groove. After having so much help from their mothers during Lucy’s first month, they’d spent her second one figuring out how to truly be parents on their own. They’ve started to fall into a pattern and be able to predict her sleep schedule a little better. It’s nice, almost calm some days.

It’s enough to make them feel confident enough that Scott could return to the rink. They’re a little under two weeks out from Worlds and it’s the first year Sarah and Rafael could have a real shot at top-seven finish. And Patrice and Marie-France seem to have their hands full with more than one team managing some late-season injuries.

“You should go,” Tessa tells him, almost laughing. “We’ll be okay here. And I can tell you miss your guys.” They’re in the kitchen, clutching half-full mugs of coffee at the island.

He does miss his teams, truth be told. And while everyone from Gadbois has had their turn to drop in and meet Lucy and catch up - Marie-France and Patrice more than once - he does miss being at the rink. But if he’s there he knows he’ll miss being at home, too. “Only if you’re sure, T,” he says.

She looks at him like she’s thinking about it a little. “I really think we’ll be okay, Scott. She’s eating well, and sleeping.” Which means Tessa’s been sleeping and eating, too, he thinks.

“I’ll go this week and we’ll see how it goes,” he says, agreeing. “And if it’s good, I’ll just see them through Worlds next week and then after I’ll be all yours anyway for a couple of months,” he says with a wink.

“Okay,” Tessa nods. “And if she smiles or does anything cute or fun I will send you videos,” she promises.

“Deal. If you’re okay, then I am too.”

And at first, it is okay. More than okay, even. Scott returns in the afternoon on the first day to find Lucy napping and Tessa sorting out dinner preparations in the kitchen.

“You’re a superstar, T,” he tells her with a kiss.

“We did pretty good today,” she says, shrugging a little. “I was hoping to get the laundry done, too, though.”

“That’s what Adrienne can help with, remember?” He knows tomorrow is the scheduled day for the housekeeper. They’ve had her coming once a week ever since Lucy was a couple of weeks old, instead of every other week like before.

“I know,” Tessa nods. “But Lucy’s favourite blanket needs washing, she...well, it got dirty today, same with one of her stuffies. Although she probably won’t care about that as much. Anyway I was going to do it now but then I figured dinner prep was more important while she’s still napping,” she explains.

“I can do it,” he says, and Tessa looks back at him, blinking. It’s like she’d forgotten that was an option.

She smiles a little, then nods. “Okay. Actually, I think you should probably handle dinner. I’ll take the gross laundry.”

“I love teamwork,” he agrees, reaching for her. Her arms settle around his waist and he kisses her.

The day after that everything seems fine, enough that Scott feels confident confirming his travel to Vienna for Worlds the following week. But on the third day he comes home to find Tessa holding a very unhappy Lucy. They’re in the living room and judging from Tessa’s posture and the look on her face, Lucy’s been crying for quite a while.

“Oh, Tess,” he says, only sympathy in his voice. “Can I take her for a minute?” He quickly shrugs out of his coat, having already toed off his boots as fast as he could. He holds out his hands hopefully, and Tessa hands Lucy to him. “Come here, cutie, you having a bad day?” Lucy settles against his shoulder but still keeps crying.

“She hasn’t been so cute today,” Tessa says, almost under her breath. Then she winces a little, as though regretting her words. She reaches one hand over to pat Lucy’s back. “Oh, I didn’t mean that, honey. Mommy still loves you, okay?” She looks so worried all of a sudden.

“Of course you do, T, she knows that.” He steers them over to the sofa and they sit down next to each other. Eventually Lucy starts settling a little, still whimpering and fussing but it’s better than the full-out crying she was doing before. “What have you tried already?” he asks.

Tessa leans against him, looking so tired. “Everything,” she says. “She napped okay this morning but only for about an hour. All afternoon she hasn’t wanted to settle down. I changed her, and fed her, and walked her. I even tried the little rocking swing but that seemed to be even worse than holding her, so then I went back to walking with her and bouncing her, and then that’s when you came in,” she explains, almost all in the same breath. She lets out a long sigh. “She’s not running a fever or anything, I checked for that too.”

“I guess we all have bad days,” Scott says. He wonders fleetingly if this could be the start of colic - he’s heard no shortage of stories about that from his brothers when their children were all young - but he holds back from saying that out loud.

“Yeah,” Tessa answers, sounding so resigned. She swallows, taking in another breath and letting it out again. “I’m glad you’re home. Sorry we’re not a better greeting party today.”

“You’re still my favourite girls in the whole world,” he says.

They’re not sure if it’s just the effect of having a different person to hold her, but eventually Lucy settles. The rest of the evening passes normally. But then, the next day Scott returns home to a very similar situation. Again, Lucy settles eventually, but he can see the way it’s starting to make Tessa anxious. He’s glad when she falls asleep easily, and tries to make as little noise as possible when he gets up to feed Lucy in the middle of the night. But when he gets up with her it’s to the sound of her furious wailing cry, not unlike her performance from the last couple of afternoons.

The next day Scott’s hardly able to concentrate while he’s at the rink. All he can think about is Tessa and Lucy, wondering if Lucy’s crying or if Tessa’s feeling okay. When it’s time to leave he practically speeds home, then steps into the house prepared to rescue Tessa for a third day in a row. He’s surprised to come home to a quiet house - no crying, no footsteps. For a minute he wonders if they’re out for a walk, but Lucy’s stroller and diaper bag are still waiting at the side of the hallway as they usually are.

There’s no one downstairs, so he heads upstairs quietly. He stops first at Lucy’s room, ducking his head in just enough to discover she’s fast asleep, the sound of her gentle breathing filling him with relief.

But then, when he heads to the master bedroom he finds Tessa sitting on the edge of the bed, hands in front of her face, shoulders hunched and shaking with silent tears.

“Tess,” he breathes out, coming to sit next to her. “Oh, T.” He holds his arms out and she leans into the embrace more than willingly. He for a couple of minutes he just holds her, letting her finish crying. He strokes his hand up and down her back, rocking her a little. She wraps her arms around his waist, burying her face in his shoulder.

Eventually she lifts her head, her breathing evening out a little. “I’m sorry,” she says, her voice wobbly. “I’m okay, I promise I’m okay, I just…” Her words trail off.

“T, can you tell me what happened? Lucy seems fine, is she okay?”

Tessa nods quickly. “Yeah. She cried for a little while this morning but this afternoon she’s been better. I’ve been sitting up in case she woke up crying again like the last couple of days.”

“But she didn’t,” Scott finishes for her.

“No,” she says, shaking her head again. “And then I guess I was still sitting here and…” she stops again. “I guess I just needed a cry, too.”

He wraps his arms more tightly around her, kissing her on the side of her face, and her forehead. Eventually they both shift so they’re lying down on the bed, leaning back against the pillows. “I’m sorry, T. I wish this was easier.”

She shrugs a little. “I called Mom this morning. She said some weeks are just like this, we’re probably doing everything right and Lucy’s just having a grumpy week.”

Scott nods, feeling a little relieved. “Well that’s something, I guess.” Thank God for motherly wisdom.

“Anway, Mom said she’d come back up next week while you’re in Vienna, she can help out.”

“Oh, I’m not going to Vienna,” he answers right away. He realizes now he’d made that decision as soon as he’d walked in and seen Tessa with her head in her hands.

“Scott, no, of course you should go, we’ll be-”

“Fine,” he finishes for her, “I know you would be. But I wouldn’t be,” he insists. Now that Tessa’s calm again he realizes he’s the one feeling upset. “I’m staying, that’s it.”

She lifts her head from his shoulder to look at him. “Are you sure? They could probably use you with them, otherwise they wouldn’t have asked you back,” she reasons.

“They’ve got Marie and Patch, and the other coaches,” Scott says. “And there will be other World championships. But I only have one Tessa. And one Lucy.”

She smiles at him, bittersweet happiness on her face. Then she nods. “In that case, yes. I’d be so glad if you stayed, I’ve missed you this week,” she admits.

He strokes one hand over Tessa’s head and down her back, letting her nestle closer into his arms again.

“That makes two of us.”

*

By the end of April the Virtue-Moir household is sleeping better again. So much better, in fact, that Tessa realizes she’s starting to feel the itch to do more outside the house again, or have some time away from Lucy once in a while. She even starts asking around the neighbourhood for babysitter recommendations, and the impressed look on Scott’s face doesn’t go amiss.

“What?” she says one evening after Lucy’s asleep, as she's getting off the phone with Sylvie, one of the young women their neighbours had mentioned. Tessa offers Scott a knowing smirk to match his.

“Nothing,” he tells her. “I think it’s great, T, nothing wrong with building out our crew a little more.”

He’s right, and she knows it. After their rough spell a month ago she’d looked into having the housekeeper come a little more often. And she’d re-started her monthly therapist visits, something she realizes now was long overdue.    

“I had another thought, too,” Tessa says. “And it’s that I really, really, _really_ want to skate with you again.”

His face lights up more than she’s seen in weeks, almost counting the time Lucy first started smiling. “Yeah? Oh, thank God you can still do that.”

“Do what, skate? _Scott_ , I have not been that incapacitated, I’m basically almost back to where I was before, I even did four miles with Lucy in the running stroller last-”

“I _meant_ ,” Scott interrupts, “I meant that you can still read my mind,” he says, coming to sit next to her on the couch. He shows her the calendar on his phone. “See? I got us rink time day after tomorrow. I was going to ask you what you thought.”

This time it’s Tessa’s turn to be excited. “Oh, _yes_. I can’t wait. I could even call back Sylvie and see if she’ll be available.”

“If she’s not, I’ve already asked Marie if she’d be backup.”

“And she agreed?” Tessa responds in surprise.

“Sure,” Scott shrugs. “Everyone’s in off-season mode still. And they adore us,” he winks.

“I love you,” she says. “I also love Marie right now, but mostly you.”

“Good. I intend to keep it that way.” He leans in and kisses her, gently at first. Then she keeps kissing him back and he does too, until she’s tugging him all the way down onto the couch with her.

“I think you’re going to win that one,” she murmurs, as he kisses a path down her neck and then lower still.

“You bet I will,” he answers, and then there’s very little talking after that.

 

*

Tessa’s upstairs in the office when she hears the sound. It’s a Saturday in the middle of the summer, and while Scott handles post-naptime bottle and playtime she’s in here trying to sort out some of her papers and remember what her life was like before she went on mat leave. Even though she won’t head back to work full time for another few months she’s starting to ease back in with some freelance consulting, but even preparing to do that much has involved a lot more focussed effort than she’d thought.

But after an hour with her laptop and organizing some sketches she’s starting to find her feet again. And then she hears it, this completely shrill sound she’s never heard Lucy make before, a high-pitched shriek at the top of her lungs. Tessa drops the papers she’s holding and makes it down the stairs to the living room in about three seconds flat. But then she stops dead in her tracks when she gets through the doorway.

She’s greeted with the sight of Scott in front of her daughter, both of them sitting on the rug in the middle of the room. And both of them have the most enormous smiles on their faces. And that’s when she realizes - they’re both _sitting_ _up_. Lucy’s been trying it out a lot more lately but so far hasn’t managed to hold herself up for more than a couple of seconds, and here she is sitting in front of Scott, all on her own grinning and drooling like the happiest baby in the world.

“She’s...she’s sitting up! Oh my gosh, Scott, she’s sitting all on her own!” Tessa comes into the room, slower now, as though she needs to be cautious or else she’ll make Lucy topple over just by interrupting like this.

Scott’s grin matches Lucy’s. “I know! It’s so awesome, I was just about to come get you. I got her changed and everything and when I brought her down here I sat her down like this and she just...stayed,” he says, both proud and amazed.

“Oh, my brilliant girl!” Tessa comes to kneel next to Scott, just in front of Lucy. She wants so much to scoop her up in her arms right now but holds back for the moment, just letting her daughter sit or move however she wants.

“That’s not all, though,” Scott says, halfway to giggling, himself. He’s clutching Lucy’s little blanket in his lap, like he’s about to do something with it.

“What? Oh, what else did you do, cutie?” She puts out one hand towards Lucy, letting her grab onto Tessa’s fingers.

“Watch this,” he says. “Lucy! Hey, what’s this?” Tessa watches as Scott holds up Lucy’s blanket in front of his whole shoulders and head, keeps it there for a moment and says. “Where’d Daddy go?”

Tessa looks over at Lucy who’s got a curious but happy expression on her face. She mumbles something but is mostly just staring in Scott’s direction, waiting.

Then Scott pulls down the blanket, still smiling. “Here he is!” he announces.

And then Lucy lets out the loudest, happiest shriek of excitement - the same noise Tessa had heard from upstairs just a moment ago. It’s like it’s coming from deep inside her, an exclamation of pure delight that can’t be contained.

An enormous smile breaks out on Tessa’s face and she leans forward to scoop up Lucy, finally. “Oh, you’ve learned a new game! You’re such a brilliant girl, my Lucy,” she says, kissing Lucy’s cheeks. She can feel her still laughing, the rumbling giggles still vibrating from her whole self.

“She’s the _most_ brilliant,” Scott agrees, reaching to clutch one of her little hands.

“Do it again!” Tessa says, after she’s cuddled Lucy for a moment and the girl squirms to be let down on the rug again. She sets her daughter down in front of her and she sits happily, patting Tessa’s knee.

“Oh, better yet, T,” Scott tells her, handing her the blanket. “You do it.”

And Tessa does, and Lucy shrieks with laughter once again, and it’s the best sound in the whole world.

*

Their rink time is now a regular event, that they make sure not to miss unless they absolutely have to. Even once pre-season training starts up again Scott manages to find ice time for them twice in the week - even if it’s shared with a few other skaters, neither of them mind. It’s helped both of them, Scott knows without a doubt, but he’s been especially glad to see Tessa enjoying being on the ice. For her, he realizes, it’s a combination of returning to skating after having Lucy, but also not having the regular routine of competitions and training preparation that had guided them for so many years.

“You could stick around if you want,” Scott offers one morning towards the end of August, as they’re finishing up their hour and some of the junior teams are starting to trickle in. “Impart some wisdom, give them some tips?”

“Yeah?” Tessa says. It’s something he knows she’s thought about before. “What are they working on today?”

“It’s choreo review I think. Marie’s trying out someone new this season, she’s good. But you’re good too,” he says, levelling a pointed look at Tessa.

She winks back at him. “Maybe. Let’s see what Sylvie says, she was going to bring by Lucy after we’re done and I was going to relieve her after that.”

When they make their way towards the locker rooms they find Sylvie just arriving, a smile on her face as she pushes Lucy in her stroller.

Tessa greets them first, thanking Sylvie and reaching to unbuckle Lucy. “Hello my sweet girl! Have you had a good morning?”

“She has been so chatty today,” Sylvie says admiringly. “Her babbling, it is much more even than last week!”

Scott nods excitedly. He’d thought the same thing. They haven’t heard any words from her yet but she’s been so keen to try vocalizing everything.

Tessa clutches Lucy on her hip, kissing her cheek. “Have you been a chatty girl today, my Lucy? Mommy loves hearing you,” she says.

“Mum-mum,” Lucy says then, batting her hands at Tessa’s shoulders and chest.

Scott’s breath catches in his throat. He thinks Tessa’s reacting similarly, from the way her face stills. And then she just smiles.

“What did you say, sweetie? Say it again for Mommy?” She points to herself on the last word.

“ _Mum-mum-mum-mum_ ,” Lucy insists.

Scott comes and puts his hand out for Lucy to grab. “That’s right! That’s your Mama,” he says, an impossible grin on his face. Lucy smiles a pink-cheeked smile, like she’s not sure what the attention is for but she’s happy to accept it all the same.

“Can you say who this is, too?” Tessa asks her, pointing to Scott. “Who’s this, Lucy? Is it Daddy?”

Lucy looks from Scott to Tessa and then back again. Her mouths starts moving as though she’s trying to make the word, but it’s like her mouth doesn’t quite know how to get there yet.

Scott laughs. “That’s okay, sweetie, you’ll say it when you’re ready,” he says, just happy.

Lucy breaths out a giggle, reassured, and presses herself back into Tessa’s arms, her face nuzzling at her shoulder.

Later, at home, he cooks dinner with Tessa, a chorus of “ _mum-mum-mum_ ” coming from Lucy the whole time as she looks on from her little bouncy chair. Tessa hasn’t stopped smiling since the morning at the rink, and he thinks this might be the best possible day.

 

*

They plan to spend Christmas in Montreal again, excited to give Lucy her first Christmas in their own home. She’s observant and intrigued by all the decorating, looking in awe as Scott puts up the tree and Tessa hangs lights and garlands everywhere. Scott holds her in his arms and shows her how to hang a few decorations, encouraging her even as she seems confused by the prickliness of the spruce needles.

She doesn’t seem to pay much notice the presents starting to gather under the tree, or the stacks of cards that start collecting on the mantel in the living room. She _is_ fascinated by the snow outside, though, something that excites Scott and Tessa even more. Scott needs no encouragement to get her bundled up in her snowsuit and take her outside in it.

What makes December even better is when Lucy starts walking on her own. She’d started to take some steps with Scott or Tessa guiding her, her little hands clutched in one or both of theirs.

Then there’s one afternoon when Scott’s playing with Lizzie in the living room while Tessa wraps a few gifts - enjoying a long overdue weekend with both of them at home post-Grand-Prix season. He’s looking at a picture book with her and when they finish, he watches as she pushes herself up with both hands on his knee, and then just slowly stands and steps one foot and then the other, all by herself.

He takes in a breath. “ _Tess_ , look,” he says, just amazed.

She looks over from the other side of the room and immediately gasps, too. She pulls out her phone and starts recording right away. Lucy reaches the edge of the couch, grasping at one of the other board books that had been her goal all along. She smiles, picking it up, then notices Tessa and her expression stills again, curious.

“Lucy, are you walking?” Tessa asks her, her voice wobbling just a little. “Are you walking all by yourself?”

Lucy grins again, moving towards Tessa this time, still clutching the book in her hand. She steps a little more eagerly now, and is halfway across the carpet when she stumbles, falling solidly on her bum. Scott comes up behind her but she seems unfazed, planting her hands on the carpet and getting to her feet again one foot at a time. He picks up the book and she takes it from him happily, returning on her path towards Tessa.

Tessa crouches on her knees a few feet in front of her, holding out her free hand towards her. “It’s okay, honey, come to Mommy,” she encourages. Scott reaches to take the phone from her hand and carries on recording the video, an impossible smile on his face as he watches Lucy close the remaining distance to Tessa. She wraps her arms around Lucy and kisses her cheeks over and over. “You did it all by yourself! My brilliant, brilliant, girl,” she says, punctuating her words with more kisses. Lucy giggles, half squirming.

“Mama book,” she says, holding out her prize.

Tessa sets her back on the carpet and takes the book from her. “You want to read the book?” she asks, looking from Lucy to Scott again. He can tell she just wants to see Lucy walk again, and truth be told that’s now the only thing he wants, too. “Maybe you could bring it to Daddy, he would love to read it with you,” she says, and Scott nods, delighted.

“ _Yah_ ,” Lucy answers, taking the book back from Tessa. She stumbles again like before, but just like before she keeps going on her path, reaching Scott soon enough. " _Da-da book_ ,” she tells him, and he takes the book, as well as her, into his arms. Behind her he can see Tessa wiping at her eyes even as she’s still smiling.

“You betcha, kiddo,” he says, hugging her and sitting her next to him. He stops the phone and then hands it back to Tessa, who comes to settle next to them.

“I’m sending this to everyone we know,” she says, swallowing as her emotions start to level out.

He laughs. Right now he’s happy and as far as he’s concerned Lucy is the smartest, best toddler in the whole universe.  “Sounds about right to me.”

*

They travel to London for Nationals as a family this year, Tessa sitting in the stands with Lucy instead of in the commentators’ booth like last time. She likes watching the activity in short bursts, but Tessa finds her attention span isn’t quite up to sitting for hours at a time, so they do a lot of walking around the arena together, Lucy holding Tessa’s hand as they walk at her almost-one-year-old pace. Sometimes Tessa carries her, or Kate walks with her instead of Tessa. Other times they stop and chat with someone Tessa recognizes.

Lucy seems confused at all the attention at first - it’s her first big event like this, Tessa realizes, a lot more people than even the Gadbois rink on a busy day. But eventually she starts waving back, charmed by the smiles and waves people send her way. Tessa ends the week so proud of her, and happy to be able to share even more events like this with her in the years to come.

Scott ends the week with his team repeating their gold-medal finish from the previous year, which makes them all the more excited to aim for the Olympics that are now just two years away. Tessa starts doing math in her head, thinking about bringing Lucy with them to the games in Stockholm, and her head spins with how much they could show her.

They stay the whole next week, opening up Tessa’s house and clearing the dust away after months without a visit. And at the end of it they celebrate Lucy’s first birthday, surrounded by her aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, and grandfather and grandmothers. Scott brings out a little cake and they blow out the candles together as a threesome. Tessa’s relieved that everyone else is there to capture the moment in photos and videos, because the look on Lucy’s face as she tastes chocolate for the first time is one Tessa wants to remember forever and ever.

“Happy birthday my Lucy-goose,” Scott tells her at the end of the day as they’re getting ready for sleep, all three of them squeezing onto the big armchair. “You’re a whole _one_ year old, do you know that?” He holds up one finger. "One!"

“One?” Lucy repeats, almost like a question. She holds up one finger back and touches it against his.

“You’re one year old, sweetie,” Tessa says, holding her on her lap, half in between her and Scott. “You’re such a big girl now,” she tells her, unable to believe that a year ago she was such a new tiny little creature, here she is walking and talking and interacting with everyone in whole new ways all the time.

“Okay!” She says, one of the words she uses the most now. She’s happy and eager to stay up, but they can definitely tell she’s tired and ready to wind down.

They read her not just two but three stories, since she’s such a big girl. And then Scott gathers her in his arms and takes her to the room that’s now hers, no longer a spare room or future office but a proper bedroom fit for a little girl. He puts her in her crib and he and Tessa both kiss her goodnight even as she starts to doze off.

“Happy one year, kiddo,” Scott says as he wraps Tessa up in a hug.

“Happy one year, Scott,” she answers.

They have their own celebration dinner just the two of them then, thinking back to a year ago when their little family was made. And then they end the night in each other’s arms, when Scott takes Tessa to bed and shows her properly just how much he loves her.

*

It’s in April when things change for her again. She’s been back at work for a few months now, and things are good. Lucy’s happy in her daycare now that she’s adjusted to it, Scott’s looking ahead to a pre-Olympics year with some strong teams, and her work is going well. They’re even still skating at least once a week, and there are days when she has so much energy she feels like she could do absolutely anything.

Tessa’s not sure what it is, exactly, that makes her start thinking about it. She knows it will seem to some like she’s trying to keep pace with Jordan, who’s a couple of months away from her due date with her second child. She also knows it could be that it’s now a year since they found out that Lucy would be coming. And maybe it’s both of those things, or neither of them. All she knows is she finds herself lingering outside Lucy’s door in the evening, contemplating their big house and all its empty rooms. How Scott had never wanted her to feel any pressure to have a family if it wasn’t what she wanted - and how overjoyed he’d been when she’d decided it was what she wanted after all.

And she thinks about how it had felt to hold Lucy in her arms for the first time, to bring her back from the hospital and welcome her home. She still has to blink back tears sometimes, when she remembers it.

That’s how Scott finds her one evening, coming upstairs after finishing all the cleanup. He’s headed for their office, she can tell from the look in his eye, but he stops when he sees her just standing in the middle of the corridor.

“Everything okay?” he asks, looking her over. He glances over at Lucy’s room. “Lucy went down alright?”

Tessa just nods, her mind working. She’s looking around at the other doors, at the guest room that’s been so well used, and the office that’s spacious enough for both of them to have desks, and the fourth room that’s never really had much of a purpose except as a backup guest room. She blinks, looking at Scott, who’s looking half-worried and half-curious.

“I think I want to do this again,” she says, and Scott stills.

“Do what again?” he asks. It’s like he needs to make sure he understands her exactly.

“Another baby,” she tells him, and for a brief moment his eyes widen in surprise, and he clutches her arm with his hand.

“Really?” he asks, as a smile starts forming on his face. Then he pauses. “You’re sure, though, T? I mean, you’re just back at work, and Lucy’s just got the daycare thing down,” he reasons, like he has to double-check and triple-check, and it’s exactly the same expression she remembers from two and a half years ago when she told him this the first time.  

She nods. “Yeah. Let’s do it again. I want Lucy to be a big sister. I want more,” she adds, her last words half-swallowed by a wave of emotion.

He kisses her then firmly, and she can feel happiness coming off of him in waves. “I really, really like that plan,” he says. “In case that much wasn’t obvious.”

“I thought you might agree with the idea,” she tells him. But she doesn’t have much time to enjoy the moment of satisfaction before he’s picking her up, fully sweeping her off her feet.

“Well, no time like the present, am I right?” Scott says, still smiling ridiculously.

Tessa laughs, smacking him playfully on the shoulder. He walks them through the door of their bedroom and gestures like he’s about to throw her on the bed and she shrieks. And then he does toss her down, right in the middle of the bed and she thinks she might not stop laughing, right up until he dives down next to her, almost knocking half the pillows off the bed as he does.

And then his lips are on hers, and his hands are on her waist, just as gentle as he’d been enthusiastic, before. Her laughter quiets, then, replaced by a host of other emotions that are too many to describe.

She knows it might take another year this time, or maybe even a month. Or it might not happen at all, that much could also be true. But whatever happens they’ll manage it together, all three of them. And her family is all she needs.

***


End file.
